Lunchtime With Kelly
by StrawberryPajamas
Summary: Andy shares his story with the world-- a tale of sadness, heartbreak, a little Kool and the Gang, and Kelly Kapoor. My own little AU Kandy oneshot. WARNING: Andy/Erin angst ensues


Lunchtime with Kelly

***

Look, I know what you're all thinking: _What in the name of Jumping Jehosophat is that super-stud Bernard doing with Kelly Kapoor?_

I'm right, aren't I? Yeah, the Nardog has a seventh sense about that kind of stuff. It's all in the intuition, my friends. Any-who, just know that this 'Tall Drink-a Water' is now completely enamored by the Spicy Curry-ness of Miss Kelly Rajiniganda Kapoor. We go together like the sun and the moon. Like a rainbow and a leprechaun. Like Taco Bell and their 89 cent burrito special.

Anyway, I know you're all probably wondering why the Nardog is suddenly so taken by this Lady Kapoor, and not by a one certain, quote 'Erin Hannon'. Well, this previous (yes, I said _previous)_ receptionist of Dunder-Mifflin, Scranton left several months ago, taking and tearing up about half of my heart, for reasons this tough ol' bird still cries about sometimes.

Now, this story begins with one, particular, _sinister_ Ryan Bailey Howard.

For all you frequent readers out there, you know Ryan to be the ex-boy toy of my Lovely Kelly. And, truth be told, I never really had a problem with the guy when I first started working here. He mostly kept to himself, in which I, as a fellow non-attention getter, can appreciate. No, it wasn't his personality that made me hate every fiber of his being…

It was the fact that he stole the woman I loved right from under my nose.

Now, I know this sounds very melodramatic, but trust me: it is totally true. Turns out, while I was having the 'googly-eyes' for Miss Hannon way back then, she managed to capture the interest of another hot, young paper salesman in Scranton.

Truth be told, I wasn't very suspicious about anything going on between the two at first. Because, for one, Ryan was already with Kelly (and who could EVER think about someone else when they were with Kelly?? Seriously, have you SEEN her?), and Erin was with me. I knew that Erin and Ryan hung out because Kelly and Erin were best friends, and that Kelly dragged Ryan around everywhere her and Erin went. But that still didn't bother me. Also, I noticed Erin and Ryan kept ditching Kelly to hang out alone, but I just thought it was some hilarious practical joke they weren't letting me in on or something.

Okay, I know you guys all probably think that I'm this complete numnuts who can't tell his right hand from his left, because I didn't realize anything going on between the two. Let me tell you: that is NOT true. I _did_ become suspicious of them. Eventually. I mean, the Nardog isn't always _entirely_ clueless. He does, usually, figure out a problem, whether it be sooner or later…

Well, like I said, I did figure it out. It was a Tuesday, and I was just walking in to the kitchen to grab a third cup of Kevin's delicious homemade cinnamon coffee, when I saw them. They were just sitting there, but I could sense something between them. The way they were smiling, how Ryan had placed his hand lightly on hers, or how they were leaning affectionately close to each other tipped me off.

And you know what Ryan did when he saw me? He looked up, gave one of his charming, bleach-white smiles, and said in an even tone: "Hey buddy. How's it goin'?"

The nerve.

That was the day my vendetta against the temp began. It was a burning hatred; like the one I had against Dwight for a while, but times ten. I was constantly watching him-- his movements, his conversations, his lunch breaks. I listened to everything he said to his coworkers and clients. I tried to follow him into the bathroom once, but he yelled at me to get the hell away from him. So I had to back off, though I still watched from afar.

My biggest problem, however, wasn't Ryan possibly filing a restraining order: it was my girlfriend. All Erin seemed to talk about was Ryan-- Ryan this and Ryan that. 'Guess what Ryan did today?' 'Guess what Ryan said today that was sooo funny?' 'Remember when Ryan did blah blah blah and such...??'

I swear, I was about ready to lose it.

I knew what was coming-- I would have to be a freakin' Helen Keller locked in a soundproof box not to see it. I tried everything in my power to keep those two apart, but that was like keeping Kevin away from Dunkin' Donuts. Every time I turned around, Erin and Ryan would, somehow, find a way to spend time together. Either he would be by her desk, or she by his. Back and forth, all the time. And I knew there was really nothing I could do once they were together and talking.

I probably should have let fate take it's course, but, being a Bernard, I refused to give up on her. Even if it would have been smarter to break up with Erin before things got out of control, I couldn't.

Was this really resilience? Maybe. I'd have to double-check.

The day they both left wasn't really a shock to me. Terribly depressing, yes. But unsurprising. I woke up early on a Saturday to hear a knock on my front door. When I went to answer it, all I saw was a note taped to my doorknob and a car driving away in the distance. I remember all the note read was--

_I'm sorry for doing this to you, Andy. You'll always have a special place in my heart. Love, Erin_

On Monday, I realized neither Erin nor Ryan had showed up for work. And that's when I realized my worst fears had come true.

///

This happened about 3 months ago, but I don't really think about it much anymore. Don't get me wrong-- I still miss Erin sometimes. But things have been looking up for me since. I am free from worrying myself sick over her. Also, most importantly, I have the best girlfriend a guy can ask for-- a girl who understands me, loves me, and totally understands what I'm going through.

Yeah, Kelly and I had become royal members of the 'Lonely Hearts' Club' after our significant others ran away together. But our heartbreak over them was what brought us together. Ironic, dontcha' think? Our need to be with those other people were what made us look to each other for comfort, and eventually, our mutual hurt tuned into true affection.

So, all-in-all, don't cry for me. Things are going very well, because I, Andrew Topher-Ignatius Bernard, am completely in love with Kelly Kapoor. I love her with all my heart. I love the way she picks out every outfit for every day of the week. I love how her nose scrunches when she smiles. I love how we both love any song by "Kool and the Gang". I love how she can't live without a hairbrush with her at all times. I love how she eats skittles-- one at a time, and ALWAYS the purple ones first. I love how she tears up every time she laughs...

And, most of all, I love how much she loves me.

For all you out there reading this, just know: what happened, happened for the best. Right now, I'm doing pretty darn well. I have Kelly by my side and a song in my heart, and that's the way they're going to stay.

So until next time,

Andy "The Nardog" Bernard

***

Andy wrung his hands together nervously as he watched Kelly click out of his blog when she finished reading. He watched as his girlfriend slowly and carefully closed the laptop and slid it across the table toward him, her face impassive. Andy gave a nervous chuckle.

"Sooo... is it to milady's satisfaction?" Andy asked apprehensively, bringing his hand down and drumming his fingers on their office's kitchen table. Kelly had promised to read his blog during their lunch break at work, and he very much hoped that she approved.

Andy then realized that there were tears glistening in his girlfriend's eyes. "Andy..." she whispered raspily, and Andy's eyes widened when he realized how shaken she was by the topic.

"Oh, Kelly... I didn't mean--"

"... It's perfect."

Andy stopped. "What?"

Kelly nodded, giving him a genuine, watery smile. "It's perfect. Seriously: I loved it."

Andy blinked, still in shock. "You did?"

Kelly nodded emphatically, still grinning, and Andy sighed in relief.

"Oh thank God! See, I didn't know what you would think of it because it's about Ryan and Erin and I know they broke your heart and everything--"

"No." Kelly shook her head. "I mean, I'll always miss them, just like you said. But I don't think pining over Ryan or Erin will do any good. I'm happy now." she smiled as she set her hand on top of Andy's, and he interlocked fingers with her. "Really: I am."

He smiled widely back.

There was a short silence until Kelly asked, "So... are you ready?"

Andy nodded once, bringing his hand back to his plate. "Yup, I think so."

"Kool and the Gang?" Kelly picked up her fork

"Of course."

Both took a simultaneous deep breath, then began.

_Has there ever come a time  
__When you feel real nice  
__And you want to let someone know  
__That you really appreciate them?_

Kelly and Andy sang together; Andy to his sandwich and Ramen noodles, and Kelly to her yogurt parfait. Their favorite time during lunch was when they got to sing to their food, sending music throughout the small office.

_I say  
__You can have it  
__Yeah, if you want it  
__If you want it  
__Come and get it baby but if you want it_

Andy looked up at his girlfriend and smiled widely. She smiled back at him, singing loudly and swaying slightly with a spoonful of low-fat yogurt hovering close to her beautiful, glossy pink lips.

Andy sang along with her, content with pretty much everything in his life at the moment.

Lunchtime with Kelly definitely had its benefits.


End file.
